Stuttering and my fear of ordering drinks at a bar

Yes I had a stutter and yes it frustrated me in a big way, I was however determined that it would not hinder my life or stop me from having a good social life.

From the age of seventeen I started to go out to the local bars and public houses with my friends and despite this determination, the speech impediment soon started to become a problem for me.
 
I will never forget the first time that I had the nightmare of stuttering when attempting to order drinks at a bar. I had a kind of fear and phobia of certain sounds, for example words beginning with the letter "b" were especially difficult for me to pronounce or say fluently.
 
I had asked my friends what drinks that they would like and approached the bar knowing that I had to order two pints of lager and two bottles of Budweiser.

As I was waiting for my turn to order this word Budweiser started to prey on my mind. I have always attempted to fight this form of what I call "negative demon", but this was always difficult to do without knowing how to stop them etc.
 
Eventually it was my turn to order and lets just say it went completely wrong, I wanted my world to end there and then and for something or somebody to whisk me away from the situation.

I could feel the stares from other people who had witnessed my struggle and I even felt sorry for the barman who did not know how he should react.
 
For the next five years, until I eventually managed to beat the stutter, I continued to struggle to order drinks at a bar and I have to admit that at times I even wimped out and stayed at home instead of going out, letting the fear beat me.